not a single comment on previous post, weird?

something went wrong with my comment box, maybe?

Finally I realized things will never be the same again when:

- You stopped your morning calls
- When I needed you your presence in taking my most important decision and couldn’t find you around
- When I started receiving your calls only when you needed something from me
- When you started lieing on silly matters
- When I realized it’s not you am dealing with anymore
- When I lost that person whom I wud I call in the middle of the night and cry my eyes out and knows she wouldn’t complain

I knew but I kept a faith in you that one day you’ll wake up, and I’ll be there for you as always.

Bottom line: it’s time to change that naive forgiving person you used to know!

To begin with, I don’t know what to write, nothing in mind except a desire to pour out what have been in my heart for sometimes now. Excuse my English as it’s my second language & the preferable one when it comes to expressing my feelings.

We always say “Times passes by so fast” without realizing whats does it mean in real life, it means growing old, forgetting beautiful memories we once had, meeting new people & saying good byes to others. You never get to know what that really means till you end up alone looking at souvenirs & gifts you once received on beautiful happy occasions. This may sound depressing, but I don’t feel the joy of getting new item from my wishlist anymore. I guess we lost the sense of pleasure when receiving that thing you always wished for. I used to keep a box of letters & notes from my classmates back in school. Reading it every once in a while was really pleasant pain to me, it have always reminded me of how fun, popular & loved I was. Till the day I get rid of that box, am telling you~ I lost all that moments. I literally forgot everything related to school. Is that an indicator of growing old? memories attached with objects, once you lose those objects, you lose all that beautiful memories. Or is it an inner desire to forget who & how you used to be?

The bad experiences I’ve been through in my life, taught me to hide the emotional side of me.  I might have looked once so cruel & cold hearted.  But deep inside me I bled pain. I try to convince myself after each dramatic painful experience that I learned something from it & I would walk away & move on with a better mood, while in reality I kept falling in the same mistakes again & again. I end up hating myself & urged to carry on with a positive attitude towards others.  Trusting again might require great effort, but me; being so naive I do trust people easily. Those life journeys, that we come cross every now & then makes you feel older & wiser.  Am so grateful for each that made me who I’m today.

My problem is, I seek perfection in people which is way impossible to find. No ones perfect not even me, but it’s human nature, finding others mistakes and trying to correct it.  We keep searching for the perfect partner/companion/friend without realizing they are there, surrounding us as always.

“Life goes on”